Sirajuddin Aziz
In almost four decades of my professional career, I must have attended countless hours of meetings. In most of these, I ‘heard’ everything that was said, but moments of genuine, rapt attention were rare. However, when I conducted meetings, my attention was undivided—focused, consistent, and engaged. There is a distinct difference between ‘attending’ a meeting and ‘conducting’ one. A meeting, after all, is not merely a large public gathering; it can be as small as a one-on-one discussion.
In the business world, spanning both government and corporate sectors, meetings are held almost every other hour. Even a brief conversation between a supervisor and a subordinate constitutes a meeting. However, in many of these exchanges, participants hear each other but fail to truly listen. This highlights a crucial distinction between ‘hearing’ and ‘listening.’
Effective listening is an underrated skill, both socially and professionally. Good communication is not just about speaking well; it also requires the ability to listen attentively.
Hearing is not listening. Simply perceiving spoken words is not the same as understanding them. A dictum from the pre-BC era states, “The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen more…” Listening is an acquired skill that demands attention, patience, and focus. It is about grasping the meaning of spoken words, not just registering their sound. As Emerson put it, “The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue.” Hearing is a passive, automatic process, whereas listening requires effort.
We are constantly surrounded by sound—music, traffic, running water—yet these noises do not necessarily disturb us unless they reach an excessive volume. Listening, however, is an intentional act that demands effort and motivation to understand what is being said. Unless one listens with purpose, sound merely passes through the ears without meaning. Active listening involves concentrating fully on what is being said and absorbing it without preemptive judgment.
Communication is central to all relationships—whether with friends, family, colleagues, or acquaintances. Because these relationships are often sensitive, great care must be taken in how we communicate.
Good communication skills are not about oratory; they are rooted in good listening. Active listening means allowing the speaker to express themselves fully without interruption or premature questioning. One must listen to the entire message before formulating a response. The greatest obstacle to effective listening is the human tendency to begin crafting a reply before the speaker has even finished. As a result, much hearing takes place, but little listening.
Are listening skills innate, or can they be acquired? The answer lies in self-discipline. Those who can restrain their urge to speak often prove to be good listeners. In contrast, those who react impulsively tend to lose focus. Some individuals take pride in cutting to the core of a discussion, dismissing context and nuance—an approach characteristic of an arrogant manager or leader. Such people hear but do not listen.
Management experts agree that listening skills can be cultivated through focus and training. Active listening involves five key stages: receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding.
The first step, receiving, involves hearing. In today’s world, distractions are so pervasive that even getting someone to pay attention can be a challenge. In boardrooms, it is not uncommon to hear someone interject with, “No, first listen to me!”—a sign of the general disregard for attentive listening. To truly receive a message, one must actively filter out distractions.
Several common obstacles prevent effective listening. People may be lost in their own thoughts, distracted by external factors, preoccupied with formulating a response, or resistant to ideas that challenge their beliefs.
Understanding follows hearing. Listeners must focus on the subject rather than the speaker. As Hazrat Ali (RA) advised, “Listen to what is being said, not to who is saying it.” This demands full engagement with the content of the message.
The benefits of listening are immense. Knowledge is gained either through reading or listening. Focused listening strengthens relationships and fosters better friendships, academic performance, and workplace interactions. Good listening skills enable deeper understanding of issues and challenges.
The rise of multimedia presentations has only increased the demand for better listening skills. These presentations rely on both visual and verbal elements, and if the audience does not absorb the spoken content, the purpose of the presentation is lost.
From experience, the best way to retain what is heard is through repetition. A compelling story—one that conveys values, character, or lessons—sticks in the mind when repeated, whether to oneself or others.
Once information is received, processed, and retained, it must be evaluated. Listeners assess a message based on factors such as the speaker’s credibility, linguistic biases, cultural inferences, and perceived intent. While judgment is inevitable, it should not be excessively positive or negative. Instead, an honest response should demonstrate that the message has been understood.
Listening can be categorised into several styles. Some people listen with a focus on the speaker, engaging personally. Others listen for action-oriented cues, seeking to determine what the speaker expects of them. Content-oriented listeners prioritise the message itself, disregarding the speaker’s identity. Finally, time-oriented listeners seek to grasp the essence of a message as quickly as possible. These styles reveal how individuals engage with communication.
Noise in communication can be physical, psychological, or semantic. The human attention span is a major challenge in refining listening skills. Training is required to block out distractions and focus on the message.
Critical listening, the highest form of listening, involves careful, systematic thinking and reasoning to assess whether a speaker’s message aligns with factual evidence. Without this analytical approach, listeners may be misled by illogical arguments.
Managers and leaders should empower themselves by becoming ethical listeners—those who give respectful attention to the ideas and viewpoints of others.
The writer is a Senior Banker & Freelance Columnist.
